I never know what each day would bring. I can not find excitement or joy in events or things. Sometimes I wake up and it’s a good day, and sometimes I just wish the day never happened.

“You deserve to feel good about yourself.”

That was what ML messaged me once. Sometimes, I wonder if that is true. I feel that I have no sense of self-confidence now. I am paranoid of things going on around me. I even feel bad for talking to ML about my crap.
(ML: If you are reading this, I am really sorry for all the times I bug you and for the stupid times I message you.)

It is incapacitating to be in this situation where I am easily agitated, have no mood or interest to do anything, no confidence in the things that I do. I feel forsaken at times. and don’t want to talk about anything to do with God.

I hate the way I am so inconsistent and feel so helpless. I feel almost dependent on ML at times.