After a long talk with ML, I have come to the realisation that we always argue and try to form solutions without properly understanding the problem. ML suggested taking her through each step of what happened so that she knows what pushed me off the edge. After all that I had no idea when I could ever use that information because to bring it up again is suicidal.

And then she got upset with me for something. It was a trivial thing like how it usually starts. But then all unresolved issues will pop up again.

I did as ML suggested, taking her through each stage of my anger trail. And to be fair, I had to let her do the same with me.

I have heard it before but for some reason, it stung this time. I was a monster. I lose my temper at her in public and she lives in fear of that. She fears making any little slip up that would result in me turning into a brute and unleashing my fury on her.

I almost wanted to leave her there and then to spare her the anguish. But I had to at least try to salvage what I can.

Long story short, we need to try to be more patient with each other.

I still live in fear of what I am. Is it fair to her?