Category Archives: Emotions

Emotions, Rants, Work

Drive

Considering all that has happened at work. I was actually looking forward to a little christmas celebration amongst a small group of friends at work.

I cooked from 830 to 1100pm last night. I think because these friends are some of the nicest people around. I would hate to think what what happen if I don’t work with them.

Unfortunately, as I was driving to work, I inadvertently thought about what has been going on at work. All the politics, all the bias and unfair treatment, and started to feel down about it.

My moods are swinging quite a bit. Yesterday I was quite alright, having the day to myself and just running errands.

And of course just after I first write this down I get into another accident.

Emotions, Rants

Blindsided

Why is it some problems keep coming up time and time again? Why can’t issues be dropped? Why does one side always have to bring things up?

I am fed up of being blindsided. Just because there may be other people around, a person can seemingly be alright about a certain issue but then once you are both alone, just smack the issue back into your face.

True, I may come across as passive-aggressively shouldering the blame because I don’t want to talk about it anymore but I just want to move on and if it means accepting the burden of fault, so be it.

I can’t take this anymore. I feel like I am on the verge of giving up. Like I am pushing myself away.

Emotions, General, Rants

Communication

I’m a communications professional. But it’s so hard to communicate with some people.

After so much time together, why is it so hard? Are we being too sensitive to each other? Reading into where there is nothing?

I don’t want to argue anymore. I don’t want to fight. I want to rest. I’m tired of all the crap.

Emotions, God

Tests

An encouragement from ML…

Faithful Is He Who Has Promised

Are you passing through a testing.
Is your pillow wet with tears?
Do you wonder what the reason,
Why it seems God never hears?

Why it is you have no answer
To your oft-repeated plea,
Why the heaven still is leaden
As you wait on bended knee?

Do you wonder as you suffer,
Whether God does understand,
And if so, why He ignores you,
Fails to hold you in His Hand?

Do black doubts creep in, assail you,
Fears without, and fears within,
Till your brave heart almost falters
And gives way to deadly sin?

All God’s testings have a purpose-
Someday you will see the light.
All He asks is that you trust Him,
Walk by faith and not by sight.

Do not fear when doubts beset you,
Just remember-He is near;
He will never, never leave you,
He will always, always hear.

Faithful is He who has promised,
He will never let you fall,
Daily will the strength be given
Strength for each and strength for all.

He will gladly share pain with you,
He will gladly give you peace.
Till your tired and weary body
Finds its blessed, glad release.

When the darkened veil is lifted,
Then, dear heart, you’ll understand
Why it is you had to suffer,
Why you could not feel His hand

Giving strength when it was needed,
Giving power and peace within
Giving joy thru tears and trial,
Giving victory over sin.

So till then just keep on trusting,
Thru the sunshine and the rain,
Thru the tears and thru the heartaches,
Thru the smiles and thru the pain

Knowing that our Father watches,
Knowing daily strength He’ll give,
Victory for each passing hour,
This is life, so let us live!

By John E. Zoller

Emotions, Rants

Season

This is the first time that I really don’t feel in the mood for the season. I mean it’s Christmas but I feel like crap.

I’m playing for the Christmas service this year again but somehow it just makes me feel worse. I suppose my faith is being shakened and I really have no idea what foundation I am standing on.

So many christmas parties or gatherings that somehow I now dread going to. One of which I am hosting.

If I could call it off I would. Maybe take a break and leave the country for a bit. Although I would have no where to go or even any clue of what to do if I get there.

Been driving much more lately and I really hate the radio. Sappy christmas songs which now just make me feel that I am all the more out of it – out of season.