It was always you.

You were open and honest with me.

When I was new and lost, you came and welcomed me.

You were frank and helped me to be better.

You trusted me with things that were personal.

We did things together and went through crap together.

When things happened to me and I was thrown off track, you stood by me and helped me along.

But I got stuck, and your patience wore thin.

I miss you.

I miss the times when we joked and laughed and chilled together.

I miss the daily drives where we would just talk.

You don’t think much of me anymore and sadly I understand.

I wish I could turn back the hands of time, to go back to when things were simpler and happy.

I look back and wish we did not drift.

Yours is a friendship that I never want to lose.

But I am afraid I have already lost you.


I have been feeling the physiological effects of depression lately.

ML has been keeping a distance from me. In the past when I can just freely text ML about stuff, I just hold back now.

It took me about 2 days before I messaged saying that I needed help because I am just feeling hopeless, helpless and overwhelmed.

I took the next day off from work because I just can’t get into the mood of working.

The day after when I was on the way back to work, ML texted me about #100HappyDays and I felt glad. Firstly, because it was out of the blue, and secondly, it showed concern. I know I am probably a bother which would explain why ML would keep a distance. I try to respect that but it feels sometimes that I lost a friend.

Anyway, upon ML’s advice, I am trying the #100HappyDays to try to find little things that can help me be happy.