I’ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I want to be the air for you
I’ll be there for you
I’d live and I’d die for you
I’d steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can’t say what love can do
I’ll be there for you
Choices
Was talking with ML about choices. About how I feared having made the wrong choice and having it bite me in the ass.
I have to make the best out of whatever situation I am in. There are logical choices which when one thinks about it is a no-brainer. But perhaps emotions and frustrations cloud a person’s judgement and that’s why people make wrong decisions.
Is the logical choice always the right one? I really don’t know. I suppose given the right circumstance, the “wrong” choice may be the right one in the long term?
Protected: Extraneous
Secrets
Secrets – One Republic
I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
‘Til all my sleeves are stained red
From all the truth that I’ve said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw me wink, no
I’ve been on the brink, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that’ll light those years
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics ever jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
My God
Amazing that we got this far
It’s like we’re chasing all those stars
Driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news, all the problems that we could solve
And when a situation rises, just write it into an album
Seen it straight to gold
I don’t really like my flow, no, so
Tell me what you want to hear
Something that’ll light those years
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics ever jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
Oh, got no reason, got not shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don’t let me disappear
I’mma tell you everything
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that’ll light those years
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics ever jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
So tell me what you want to hear
Something that’ll light those years
Sick of all the insincere
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
This time
Don’t need another perfect lie
Don’t care if critics ever jump in line
I’m gonna give all my secrets away
All my secrets away
All my secrets away
Masks
2013 was the worst year that I can recall. If you can’t think of a reason why, then you obviously don’t know me at all. Go away.
Every single aspect of my life went wrong, and I can hardly do anything about it.
The result of which is me going into depression. Thankfully, not as bad as some people that I know, but enough to make me really consider just disappearing.
I know that there will always be problems and issues no matter where you are. Sometimes I just feel that regardless of what I swap for, I would get a better hand.
Over the past few weeks, I have culled down the list of “friends” I have on Facebook. I tell people it’s because I’m sick of the quantifying friendships thing. But I think that maybe I am eliminating people from my life.
I am so sick and tired of putting up a front; of wearing a mask. People call me by things that they think I am and, stupid me, I actually try to live to those expectations. I am sick of being the guy people can rely on. I am sick of filling in the gaps that no one else does. I have lost track of who I am and the person I see in the mirror is not a pretty sight. I am not a rock that’s sturdy. I’m sinking sand right now.
Right now, there’s nothing that I am in full control of in my life. I have no semblance of control at all.
I think I have day dreams of what I would do given a choice of no repercussions. It makes me feel good. Though the sad fact of reality is that we live with repercussions.
ML once said that they wouldn’t be surprised by what difficulties or problems I go through. The problem is that if I reveal some of my dark thoughts, it may not surprise but color their opinions and I may paint myself into a corner where I am really and completely alone.