disappear

Disappear

I feel like crap. I am still recovering from flu and having crazier mood swings. Often, I have no appetite and have been feeling giddy or light-headed. And I just puked air.

At least twice today I had to get out of the office and take deep breaths. Maybe I am getting anxiety attacks, heart palpitations or something. Concerned boss, GT, suggests maybe I should check my blood pressure.

People are talking about Chinese New Year and I am just dreading it. I am hating the idea of spending it with family. I already have a tough time putting on a mask everywhere I go. I can hardly be myself around people. Sometimes I wonder if I am being a bother to ML with all my crap.

I need to get away. It is times like this, that the whole idea of disappearing sounds more and more appealing. I wish I could do that. Just disappear.

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