{"id":350,"date":"2014-01-14T17:37:28","date_gmt":"2014-01-14T09:37:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/?p=350"},"modified":"2014-01-15T10:47:03","modified_gmt":"2014-01-15T02:47:03","slug":"inconsistency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/?p=350","title":{"rendered":"Inconsistency"},"content":{"rendered":"

I never know what each day would bring. I can not find excitement or joy in events or things. Sometimes I wake up and it’s a good day, and sometimes I just wish the day never happened.<\/p>\n

“You deserve to feel good about yourself.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That was what ML messaged me once. Sometimes, I wonder if that is true. I feel that I have no sense of self-confidence now. I am paranoid of things going on around me. I even feel bad for talking to ML about my crap.
\n(ML: If you are reading this, I am really sorry for all the times I bug you and for the stupid times I message you.)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

It is incapacitating to be in this situation where I am easily agitated, have no mood or interest to do anything, no confidence in the things that I do. I feel forsaken at times. and don’t want to talk about anything to do with God.<\/p>\n

I hate the way I am so inconsistent and feel so helpless. I feel almost dependent on ML at times.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I never know what each day would bring. I can not find excitement or joy in events or things. Sometimes I wake up and it’s a good day, and sometimes I just wish the day never happened. “You deserve to feel good about yourself.” That was what ML messaged me once. Sometimes, I wonder if … Continue reading Inconsistency<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":351,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[38],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/inconsistent.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=350"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":355,"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/350\/revisions\/355"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=350"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=350"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/elijahtan.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=350"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}