2013 was the worst year that I can recall. If you can’t think of a reason why, then you obviously don’t know me at all. Go away.<\/p>\n
Every single aspect of my life went wrong, and I can hardly do anything about it.<\/p>\n
The result of which is me going into depression. Thankfully, not as bad as some people that I know, but enough to make me really consider just disappearing. <\/p>\n
I know that there will always be problems and issues no matter where you are. Sometimes I just feel that regardless of what I swap for, I would get a better hand. <\/p>\n
Over the past few weeks, I have culled down the list of “friends” I have on Facebook. I tell people it’s because I’m sick of the quantifying friendships thing. But I think that maybe I am eliminating people from my life.<\/p>\n
I am so sick and tired of putting up a front; of wearing a mask. People call me by things that they think I am and, stupid me, I actually try to live to those expectations. I am sick of being the guy people can rely on. I am sick of filling in the gaps that no one else does. I have lost track of who I am and the person I see in the mirror is not a pretty sight. I am not a rock that’s sturdy. I’m sinking sand right now.<\/p>\n
Right now, there’s nothing that I am in full control of in my life. I have no semblance of control at all.<\/p>\n
I think I have day dreams of what I would do given a choice of no repercussions. It makes me feel good. Though the sad fact of reality is that we live with repercussions.<\/p>\n
ML once said that they wouldn’t be surprised by what difficulties or problems I go through. The problem is that if I reveal some of my dark thoughts, it may not surprise but color their opinions and I may paint myself into a corner where I am really and completely alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
2013 was the worst year that I can recall. If you can’t think of a reason why, then you obviously don’t know me at all. Go away. Every single aspect of my life went wrong, and I can hardly do anything about it. The result of which is me going into depression. Thankfully, not as … Continue reading Masks<\/span>